We know the obvious signs of a toxic or fading friendship but what about signs we miss?

 

1. You’re going down different roads

“Just because you and your bestie aren’t majoring in the same class, or have the same views on politics, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be friends—it’s beneficial to everybody to have as diverse a friend group as possible. But sometimes, differences will cause friends to drift apart—and that’s okay.

Maybe your life goals are different; you want to get ahead in your career, and your friend wants to start a family. Or maybe, your separate interests bring you to build closer bonds with other people. Whatever the reason, growing apart from friends can happen as you experience major changes in your life, such as starting college, or graduating.” – Her Campus

 

2. You use each other

“Some people are friends with you because of what you can do for them. Red flags include friends who repeatedly try to sell you something, ask to borrow money again and again, or keep tabs on favors. (“You owe me housesitting because I took care of your dog.”) These friends routinely cross the line between friendship and business.

The transaction might also be more subtle — you’re friends with them because they admire you with cartoon hearts in their eyes and in return you get a shot to your self-esteem. You’re friends because they hold you back just enough that you can blame them, rather than yourself, for not accomplishing your dreams.”- Business Insider

 

3. They have no respect for your beliefs

“We all have different beliefs, be it politically or religiously, and that is something natural that people don’t agree with one another all the time. It’s perfectly fine to have a debatable healthy discussion about our point of views. However, if your friend has no regard for your views and dismisses them as stupid or idiotic, that is being disrespectful and that is not acceptable. No one has the right to disrespect you nor your intellect just because they don’t see eye-to-eye with you.” – LifeAdvancer

 

4. They don’t contribute anything positive to your life

“It’s important that you can pick yourself up when you’re low, but you should end a friendship if all it does is drown you.

This is where you need to respect yourself and let that person go.

Friends should be a natural extension of your life, just like you should be in their lives.

In other words, you should be encouraging each other and inspiring each other to be happy and healthy. The important thing is that you contribute something positive to each other’s life.” – Step To Health

 

5. Jealousy and competition run rampant

“One-upping, tense competition, and biting jealousy could be a sign your friendship isn’t what it’s chalked up to be. If you are constantly feeling the need to prove yourself to your friend, you’re going to feel more exhaustion than comfort from your pal. Friendships are supposed to be supportive and encouraging, not polarizing and antagonistic. So if you look around and realize you and your bud are pretty much participating in a stinky match-up of “whose poo don’t stink,” it could be time to exit through the gift shop.” – HuffPost

 

6. They are not there for you

“Friendships should be based on equality, and the expectation of a give-and-take is an important component of a healthy relationship. “If a friend repeatedly expects us to be there for them (e.g., for emotional or practical support), but doesn’t give us anything substantial in return, it’s a sign the friendship is unhealthy and might need to be re-evaluated,” says therapist and friendship researcher Miriam Kirmayer over email.” – Bustle

 

 

7. They are consistently disappointing you

“We’re not suggesting you drop a friend because she reschedules a lunch date every now and then. But if she’s always rescheduling, always late, and always forgets to call, then there might be a problem. While constantly canceled plans can be annoying, Levine says this type of friend will likely disappoint you in more emotional ways as well. For example, she doesn’t listen or give you time to speak, and that leads to one-sided conversations that leave you feeling unheard. Bottom line: If it seems like your friendship is all about her, she might not be a good friend.” – Prevention

 

8. Crossed Over Moral Boundaries

“Often, we are willing to tolerate toxic behavior because the person has been a part of our lives for a long time. We explain away their actions as inappropriate and tell ourselves, “She wasn’t always this way,” or “She can be nice when she wants to be.” But there comes a time when a toxic person steps so far over the line that their behavior can no longer be tolerated or explained. Has the toxic person in your life gone too far politically? Have they said something that disparages your kids? Once a toxic person crosses your line of appropriate behavior, it’s time to reevaluate why they are still in your life.” – Scary Mommy

 

9. Outwardly bashing other friends

“All friends do this. I’ve had entire friendships based on mutual hatred. It’s also a great way to get off some steam and work out dilemmas with others if your friend is trustworthy and willing to lend an ear. But if that one friend is constantly negative and constantly gossiping about and putting down other people, she probably talks just as negatively about you to all your other friends. And if that’s not off-putting, then you’re a robot.” – Thought Catalog

 

10. You never know where you stand with them

“It’s easy to get caught up under a Queen Bee’s spell, and you may not even realize it’s happening. But if you’re constantly trying to win her approval, and live in constant fear that she’ll suddenly be over you and have a new number one bestie, it’s time to reevaluate whether she’s really the kind of friend you want to have.” – Seventeen

 

What are some major signs that it is time to move on for you?

 

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Sarah Betty is creator & owner of The TopKnot Life an online resource for the getting-stuff-done women who don't have the time or energy to research. She is the mother who does better research than the FBI.

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